Sunday, April 3, 2011

HUM TO HAIN PARDES MEIN-originally posted on 27 June 2010

Indian poetry especially ghazals are all about pathos. I love translating these ghazals and the challenge is to make them sound like poetry still. I so want to share these very Indian sensibilities with some of my friends who do not understand my language and also some Angrez Indians who may be a bit alienated from their own culture. So here's a translation of this beautiful ghazal that I had written 4yrs ago on some loony moonlit night:

I have added the last stanza from a version of the ghazal recorded later by Jagjit as solo, but it is missing on Youtube. It's a beautiful stanza-
'Jin aankhon mein kaajal ban kar utari kali raat,
Un ankhon mein aansoo ka ik katra hoga chand'

So here goes:


I am away from home,
Overseas all alone.
A silver moon must have risen
Like a radiant bride
Over my countryside.
Standing all alone
On the dark roof forlorn
Of an ink blue night.

Staying away from my moon
Each day passes as if eons.
Wonder how he has fared without me.
I hope my moon is alright
Standing all alone
On the dark roof forlorn
Of an ink blue night.

The night would plot a conspiracy.
The kite string would break free.
The kite-like moon would be stuck on the Neem tree,
Growing on my courtyard’s boundary.

Those eyes smeared dark
with the kohl of the night,
The moon would be but a spark,
A teardrop in their fading light.

I am away from home
Overseas all alone.
A silver moon must have risen
Like a radiant bride
Over my countryside.

P.S: 'The moon' is a term often used for a beloved. In this poem too the physical moon often interchanges with the poet's loved one.
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Some restored comments:

Neelima Choahan-I used to listen to this song when I first moved to australia...:-).

Aijaz Zaka Syed-This is beautiful Shivani...it's one of my all time favourites...it's one of those rare gems that are both penned and sung exquisitely and complement each other...And you've added further value to the gazal with your translation...it's beautiful and manages to convey what the poet said in original Urdu...you should do this more often.

Shivani Mohan-Oooh! I am so happy you liked it, Aijaz. Your opinion means a lot to me. I guess I'll be boring people with some more of my poetry now.:-)

3 comments:

  1. Shivani,

    I had sent the Urdu version of the song to a friend without realizing that she did not understand Urdu.
    Found your lovely translation online and sent it to her. You sure have done such an awesome job!
    Thanks

    Shanti

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you so much. Sorry saw your comment just now.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You've made me love this song even more!! thank you for sharing!

    ReplyDelete